My first Blow-Job at age 50

Ah the ripe old age of fifty, half way to one hundred years old. I’ve seen 5 decades, the turn of the millennium, my wife walk down the aisle and the birth of my two sons – but I’ve never had a blow job (at least not until recently).

A couple of weeks before my 50th birthday my wife asked me what I would like to do to celebrate it, and I suggested perhaps a walk in the countryside with our children or a nice meal in a fancy restaurant. I also told her that it would be nice to be intimate with her seeing as it was my birthday, and bravely asked her if we could try oral sex. Believe it or not, I had never been on the receiving end, even though I was fifty. To no surprise, she advised me that it wasn’t going to happen and not to ask again. I felt hurt and angry by this.

I am a grown man with needs, and I really wanted to experience oral sex, it was rather embarrassing as at my age I feel that this is something I should have done before, and I really wanted to. I knew I had to do it somehow but prostitutes weren’t my thing and it would be too complicated to begin an affair with one of the women in my office who had made it clear that the offer was open. I confided in a close friend of mine about the whole situation when he told me that when his wife was working away for long periods of times he would go visit lingam massage parlours in London that provide happy ending. This could be my chance to finally get a blow-job!

I took the lingam massage parlour number from my mate and when I got back to my office desk the next morning I dialled in the number and let it ring. A sweet and exotic voice answered the phone, and I realised that it was an Asian massage parlour, even better. The girl was very kind and patient with my questions, and within minutes I was able to book an appointment, no hassle whatsoever. She booked me in for 8pm that night; this would give me time to run home quickly, eat and shower. Luckily my wife would still be out bringing the kids to football practice so I would be able to avoid questions asking where I was going.

This is when the nerves and doubt kicked in. I kept trying to push the thought about being unfaithful to my wife to the side, but it kept creeping in. I was also worried over actually getting a blow job, what if my penis (lingam) was too small? What if I came too soon? I didn’t want to ruin a moment that I had fantasized about for so long, so when I got home I had a few glasses of gin to calm my nerves. I needed to stay calm and enjoy this experience as much as I could.

When I arrived at the massage parlour I was directed to a door at the top of a set of stairs. I opened the door with shaky hands and eyes to the ground, when I heard that same angelic voice I had previously on the phone, I took a glance up. There she was, with long black hair and bright brown eyes. She looked like an Asian prince, an oriental delight. I couldn’t believe that I was getting the chance to be so intimate with somebody so beautiful. I had butterflies in my stomach, and I could feel my penis get slightly hard, that is how aroused she had already made me.

She led me to the bed and slowly started to undo my trousers, and finally released my penis ( lingam ). Rubbing her hands gently over my balls, and then up and down the shaft. Her tongue gently flicked against the tip, and then she took it all in her mouth. She started off slow and gentle, a real sensual lady. My breathing started to get heavier, and my penis harder. I took a glance at her and she looked me deep in my eyes while I was very far down her throat, she looked so sexy. Her movements became faster and her grip became tighter. I knew that I was going to climax soon. She took her top off and I could see her huge breasts. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her chest while she continued to suck. I had never felt breasts so big and bouncy, and her nipple were so small and hard. I couldn’t help but to begin to thrust, pushing my penis further into her throat. She started making a sexy moaning noise and this pushed me over the edge. Within seconds I came in her mouth and all over her face.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Even more so I couldn’t believe how long it took me to get a blow-job. How had I been missing out on something this amazing and magical for 50 years! For the last week I couldn’t stop dreaming about her wet tongue and juicy lips wrapped around my hard penis. I needed this again, and I needed her again, my Asian blow-job queen.

If you are interested in receiving similar experience in London and melt in pleasure, check the Lingam massage London page.

Nine penis facts you probably didn’t know

Penises – our pride and joy and usually the most enjoyable part of our body. Despite how much we value our manhood, there’s a lot we don’t know about willies around the world. So here are some penis facts from the weird, the wonderful to the downright whacky!

Thought you had a big penis?

Of course, the first thing you’ll want to know is the world record for the world’s largest penis, and trust us, we have the facts! A man from New York measured in at a staggering 13.5 inches long. To give you some perspective that is longer than a 30cm ruler and is one 15th the size of a giraffe! Long eh?

And for the smallest?

Mike Carson, from Miami holds the title for world’s littlest fully functioning willy at a jaw-dropping 1/16th of an inch. Carson told Empire news: “For a long time, I was very embarrassed by my penis, but now, I pretty much just go with it,” He added: “I’m 29 now, and I’ve had girls come up to me and say they ‘just have to try it out,’ so I can’t even tell you how many women I’ve been with because of it.” Go on, son!

Is your penis normal?

The world’s average size for an erect penis comes in 5.16 inches, while most women hoping to find a partner who are 6.3 inches. Men of The Republic of Congo hold the title for having the biggest penises at just over seven inches. No need to be jealous guys!

Multiple erections can happen during your sleep!

Many men can have up to three to five erections during one night’s sleep and can be stimulated by their mood, dreams and room temperature. That’s most men spending up to four hours a night with an erect willy. Blimey guys!

Erections aren’t just for adults!

Studies have proven foetuses in the womb can get erections and have since been detected by ultrasounds. They start early, eh?!

And corpses can get erections too!

An erection after death is a thing and is often referred to as angel lust. Though it’s not understood why angel lust happens, there is a correlation with corpses and erections when blood vessels are majorly damaged.

Some men have more than one willy

Though very rare, some men are born with two penises! The condition is called diphallia and happens to one in 5.5 million Americans, with scientists unable to pin point the exact cause. The functionality of the penises entirely depends on the individual. Some are fully working and normal sized, while others are malformed and struggle to ejaculate and urinate.

Men can have penis transplants!

As of 2017, three men around the world have undergone penis transplantation. The first procedure in China in 2006 resulted in the patient having his surgery reversed because he struggled to cope with the physiological trauma. But since, the other two men have been happy with their fully functioning new penises.

And finally, some men can give themselves blowjobs!

Maybe surprisingly, one in 1000 men are flexibly able to pleasure themselves orally. Speechless? I think we’ll stop there!

Try a lingam massage London (can be also called penis massage London). More information here – http://www.happy-massage.co.uk/lingam-service/

3 reasons why getting a Happy Ending massage can mend your broken heart

 

If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we’ve all been through a break-up. We all know what it feels like to live with a broken heart- if you can class it as ‘living’, that is. They’re painful in every sense of the word, and are all consuming like a terminal illness with no end in sight. It’s true what they say: time is the biggest healer, but how are we meant to cope in the meantime? How can we speed up the process and minimise the damage as much as possible? Obviously, the internet has the answer; or several, for that matter. There are plenty of useful actions, techniques and activities out there that could help to piece together your shattered soul little by little. Exercising, Yoga, keeping a diary, filling your house with flowers, wearing bright clothes, taking up a hobby; the list is endless. However, not everyone possesses that ‘get up and go’ attitude. Not everyone has their head above water. So, the real question is: how do you get over a broken heart with doing next to nothing? Believe it or not, we may have a solution; as unconventional as it may be.

Get a Happy Ending massage; and get one as soon as possible. This may seem a little out-there, but here me out. There is logic behind the madness. Happy Ending massage is fenced by a sea of negative stigmas; but the reality is far from that. Happy Ending massage isn’t sleazy or illegal, it is an ancient ritual designed for holistic well-being. Happy Ending massage is healing in more ways than one, and it could be thread you’ve been looking for to sew up your wounded ego. Don’t believe us? Well, here are 5 reasons why Happy Ending massage could help to resuscitate your lifeless heart:

Happy ending massage teaches mindfulness

Lost already? Don’t worry; you’re not the only person who’s never stumbled across this phrase before. Essentially, mindfulness is the awareness of one’s self and one’s thoughts, and how these can impact our emotions. Professor Mark Williams, Oxford Mindfulness Centre’s former director said that mindfulness is knowing exactly what is going on inside of ourselves. He said:

“It’s easy to stop noticing the world around us and it’s easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling. We end up living in our own heads and get caught up with our thoughts, without realising how much they drive or behaviour and emptions.”

To summarise, mindfulness is the ability to have power over your emotions. It is a way of controlling negative thoughts and not allowing them to control our lives. Happy Ending massages teach mindfulness, because they force people to open up their souls- revealing both positive and negative chakras (energies). Happy ending masseuses teach their client’s how to control their breathing, and show them how to become aware. Being fully aware of one’s emotions makes managing those feeling’s easier- thus allowing us to banish negative ones. If you’re going through a break up, achieving mindfulness might just be what you need to ‘let go’ of your relationship, and to begin the next chapter of your life. After all, you’ll never move on if you’re holding onto the past.

Happy ending lingam massage is unbelievably relaxing

Truly switching off and relaxing is almost impossible during times of turmoil. Mental pain is relentless and unforgiving, and infects the mind like a parasite. To be honest, finding the time to relax during normal day-to-day life is hard enough, so how are we expected to do so when emotions are running twice as high? One of the main selling features of a Happy Ending massage is its unparalleled way of relaxing participants. Happy Ending masseuses combine expert technique and special breathing techniques to descend subjects into euphoric states of relaxation. Unlike mindfulness, relaxation has the opposite destination. It does not make you aware of your conscious feelings; rather, it accessing the unconscious.  The unconscious is an area of the mind that represses harmful memories and emotions. Although these are not consciously recognised, they are there- and they do impact our emotions. Relaxation unearths unconscious emotions and exterminates the weed at the root. Relaxation allows people to tackle and overcome their biggest fears; but without realising it! Perhaps your breakup isn’t the only problem bogging you down. Perhaps it goes a little deeper than that. Get a Happy Ending massage and find out what stopping you from moving forward.

 

They will boost your confidence

Feeling like crap after a break-up is natural. No matter how amicable your split may have been, it’s always a knock to the ego- period. Overcoming a broken heart is like a journey of self-discovery, one that relies on re-discovering a sense of confidence. No, before you start- we do not mean the confidence to hit on women in a bar. We mean the confidence of self-worth. Although Happy Ending massages are stereotypically sleazy, they’re actually great for a confidence boost. Happy Ending masseuses don’t just dive in to the dirty right away- they teach their clients how to love their bodies and themselves as a whole. Every touch, every stoke and every caress is intimate and loving and gives people the chance to feel happy once again. Unbeknown to most, experiencing an orgasm is imperative for our health, both mentally and physically. Yes, Happy Ending massages are sexual in nature, but why is that a bad thing? Experiencing pleasure encourages the release of hormones in the body, such as Serotonin and Oxytocin which naturally make us feel happier. Orgasms strengthen the immune system, those making us less susceptible illness, and making us feel more energetic. Happy Ending massages are a modern day medicine for the mind- body and soul- so why not give it a try and see if it works for you?

Ultimately, you’re going to overcome your heart break in a way that you know best. However, don’t beat yourself up- and don’t dwell on the past. Treat yourself to a Happy Ending massage, even if it is just to ‘let your hair down’. It might be just what you need to kick-start your post-break-up recovery.

So, if you think getting a Happy Ending lingam massage in London by an expert is just what you need, then call us on 07818115239 and visit http://www.happy-massage.co.uk/lingam-service/